Billary, Tampax Nutcase
2010-05-11 18:14:36 UTC
The Supreme Court and the Obama Administration and the Troops/Veterans and
Jesus all got together to try to keep an illegal goddamned religious statue
in Mojave National Preserve, but guess what? The Devil is stronger, because
He Is Legion, and the dumb/hideous Mojave Cross Made of Plumbing Pipe was
cut down by Heroes and now the Baby Jesus cries. This is actually breaking
news, right now, and it's especially hilarious because there are no
reporters within a hundred miles of the actual Scene of the Crime/Heroism.
BACKGROUND: About 75 years ago, a "Veteran's Memorial" in the form of a
simple cross was installed upon a rock along Cima Road across from the
Teutonia Peak trailhead. This was fifty years before the long and ugly
battle began to transform this huge chunk of government land in the eastern
Mojave into a national park, which finally happened under Clinton in 1994 -
but wingnuts in Congress tried to strangle the new "preserve" (and not
"park," because you can still hunt deer a few days per year) at birth by
setting its budget at One Dollar.
Then, in 1999, the Park Service refused to allow a "Buddhist shrine" next to
the cross, because duh you don't build religious shrines in national parks.
And that led to a lawsuit, because duh a Jesus Cross is a religious shrine,
and for eight years the Bush Administration put tremendous effort into
keeping the cross there, but during the nearly decade-long legal battle the
cross was covered with a hilariously dumb plywood cover, so what you
actually saw was a square wooden blank sign-type thing on a metal post.
And then your liberal lover Barack Obama became president and *his*
administration allowed this utterly bogus deal in which a couple of acres of
"inhold" (private land within a nature park) owned by some Jesus
lovers/Defenders of the Plumbing Pipe Cross who live a hundred miles away
were "traded" for the spot on the roadside where the cross sits, and the
Supreme Court ruled just two weeks ago - 5-4, wingnuts vs. liberals - that
the thing can remain because it's not really "religious" because, uh, let's
see, there are crosses on graves of veterans. (Yeah Christian crosses, John
Paul Stevens wrote in his dissent, "It is the symbol of one particular
sacrifice, and that sacrifice carries deeply significant meaning for those
who adhere to the Christian faith.")
For reasons that are still mysterious, the plywood box was still covering
the cross - according to an AP report based on a statement by a park
official made from the preserve's "headquarters" an hour away in the
California desert town of Barstow - and a ranger was delivering a new
plywood box, or something, and found that the cross itself had been hauled
away. Couldn't these rangers be studying wildlife or helping lost hikers or
picking kleenex and condoms out of the cactus? No, because we live in a
Nation of Idiot Bullshit.
And despite all these years of bickering and nonsense, this is a national
park (err, "preserve") almost totally unknown to Americans, even though it
sits right between some of the biggest U.S. cities - Los Angeles, San Diego,
Las Vegas and Phoenix. The trailhead to the one "name" trail in the whole
preserve rarely has more than a couple of cars, and the mostly European
hikers who park their rentals to make the walk up Cima Dome rarely notice
the thing perched on a rock across the road to the southeast. And this is
the way it should be, as far as we're concerned. But still, this is kind of
like having a decade-long battle about a cross left on the Moon.
So, your editor has no real choice but to hop in the Jeep and drive up the
road to see what's going on. Newell will take over for the afternoon. [LA
Times/AP/Las Vegas Sun]
Those GD beer swillin' ATX Nascar Bubba's, leave my Jesus Shrine alone or
I'm callin' in the Teafaggers and Vinegar Tits Palin!